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Idea's Misplaced Ideas

Musings From a Tired Mind

11/12/05 05:06 pm - More Evil

Got City of Villains.  It's being a real bitch to get working, but with some coaxing, I should be able to do it.  My computer just likes to fight with it while it's loading maps, which is annoying.  Character creator's pretty good, but aside from the ability to alter body dimensions, at this point I like Soul Calibur 3's more.

I did manage to put together a crazy ninja/monk chick, but the game gave me a "MAPSERV HATES YOU!" error once I left the training area.  Whoops.

I'll fix it after I finish my homework tonight.

Anyways, if you have CoV, let me know what server you play on, and your character's name! We could party up sometime, or some stuff like that. Since I haven't made a main character yet, I'm not averse to picking a server aside from the one I'm already on (Freedom) and switching to that.

11/12/05 03:45 am - Good and Evil

A bit of clarification, as I recieved a question or two about this last night.  I am not leaving MSF.  I'm taking a break from IRC, because frankly, it maddens me to even be on there right now.  I'll still be around for IMs and the occasional forum post, I just won't be around IRC, at least for the next week, and then when I'm on Thanksgiving vacation, you won't see me at all until December.  Maybe after Thanksgiving, I'll come back to IRC.

In other news, I think I might get City of Villains.  If it works on my computer, I'll be able to have some fun with it.  Several of my friends here at school play it, the character creator is great, theoretically better than Soul Calibur 3's, and I love some of the powers in the game.  There's just something satisfying about wanton destruction and mindless violence that being a good guy can't top.  And besides, CoH and CoV are on the same fee anyways, so if I like CoV, I can grab CoH for cheap too.  Maybe I'll go to Best Buy and pick up a copy tomorrow...I have a bunch of gift certificates thanks to being a Reward Zone member as well as some weird McDonald's promotion, so I should be able to get at least 10 bucks off.

...or maybe I'll get Suikoden Tactics.  Hmm.  And Wild ARMs: Alter Code F comes out next week (FINALLY, for the love of God), so I'll need to get that too (already preordered it).

Too many RPGs.  >_<;

11/11/05 03:15 am - これはすべての端である。

Things...aren't going so well lately.  In the middle of the week, I was charged with energy unlike anything I had ever felt before, and it vanished, leaving me craving it to the point at which I nearly lost myself  in it.  Today, after eating lunch with a good female friend of mine, I was left with one of the biggest smiles I had ever smiled and one of the happiest moods I'd ever been in, but even that was snatched away by boredom and lack of action.  I hate to be a drama-monger, because I'm supposed to be past this bullshit, but everything seems to be determined to build up optimism and hope within me, only to smash it violently just to see how close to crying I get.  I know I'm sensitive, but still...this is getting ridiculous.  I'm supposed to be stronger than this.  I'm supposed to be a good person, but how can I help others when I can't even be helped myself?

As for the #MSF Town Meeting...let's just say I don't know what to think about it.  People seemed determined to talk about things, but it didn't feel to me like anything was actually accomplished.  The fact that people argued for over an HOUR on the PG-13 debate and nothing was even reached on it proves this.  If anyone needs logs of the main meeting itself, let me know and I'll get one to you.  There was some other stuff afterward that I didn't save, because it really wasn't part of the meeting any longer.  All in all, though, I don't think I'll be popping into IRC much for a while...not until things start getting interesting again.  If the only purpose of the IRC channels is for people to be unbelievably random and scream "OMG CUTE~!" every 5 minutes...I don't have any reason to come around any longer.  I can get the informed discussion I need from people on AIM, rather than attempting it on IRC and getting reamed for having an opinion.  I can't sign onto #MSF and pretend everything is pretty and happy when I can't even laugh at anything in there anymore.  So, from here on in, if you need me, catch me on AIM first, although I may pop on to IRC from time to time.

There is good news, though.  Lots of new information has been released on Disgaea 2, and I always welcome this.  Rather than try to explain it all here, I'll just link ya to it. 

(Courtesy of RPGamer)

Also, TRON is in Kingdom Hearts 2?  What the hell?  I can't say I'm angry about it, it looks pretty interesting, but TRON?  Damn...this must have been the big surprise world Nomura was talking about, not Pirates of the Caribbean.

Finally, I'm getting a free copy of Mario Kart DS pretty soon, thanks to some belated birthdays and stuff like that.  Wanna challenge me?  Let me know, I'm almost always up for a good Kart match.

All in all, though, things aren't going too well, and I honestly dont know how to handle it.  Nothing I've done has worked, and any time I think I see relief coming, it's snatched away unfairly.  I want to scream, but I can't.  I want to lash out, but I'm powerless.  There's something missing, a part of me that can't be filled by anything internal.  I need to find something, someone, who I can prove myself to, who I can really laugh with and smile with, and tell the truth about everything to.  The one who will pull away my masks, and let me be the real me.  No more hiding.  She exists somewhere out there, and I can't rest until I've found her.  The time for playing nice is over. I'm not letting anything or anyone get in my way any longer.

11/1/05 01:58 am - I'm addicted to rage-ahol!

GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!  I want to just lash out and hurt people indiscriminately right now!  There is absolutely no parking on this entire fucking campus, to the point at which after over 20 orbits of the entire god-damned school, I had to park almost a mile from my dorm, then walk back, in 38-degree weather, wearing my stupid fucking Halloween costume.  Grah.  Just not fun.  I'm cold, tired, and angry, and I can't sleep.  This is gonna be a long night.

10/26/05 10:20 am - The Soul Still Burns...sort of.

Soul Calibur 3 is out today.  And I haven't beaten Romancing SaGa or Fire Emblem yet.  Oh well...I'm sure I can divide up the rest of my week between the three.  More on the game once I get my copy and have dicked around with the character creation system for a while.  Should be fun to see what I can make, although most of my character designs are probably impossible.

Not much else to say, but I think I need some time off.  Some time off from IRC, from waiting for people to want to RP but not being able to because of random stupid circumstances, and from any other distractions.  My schoolwork is suffering, my idea factory's been blown to bits, and my social life feels like it's had a leg amputated.  So for a little while, I think I'm gonna stay off of the MSF boards, avoid using IRC even more than I currently do (too much anger and lack of respect in there for me most nights anyways), and just stick to AIM. 

Sorry for the people who were expecting a usual several paragraph rant for my newest post, but I'm just too drained emotionally (and physically) to do that anymore.

10/19/05 03:34 am - LJ UPDATE: Alter Code F

Er...that big post I mentioned this weekend?  It's indefinitely delayed until I can find something to write about.  Sorry, everyone.

This is Idea signing out, yo.

10/15/05 02:58 am - Oops.

Correction.  Detailed entry has been delayed until Saturday, for I am lazy and forgot again.

10/14/05 12:08 pm - Two weeks between posts = bad.

...oh, yeah. I have one of these. I seem to have temporarily forgotten. Oops.

I'll post something actually detailed tonight.


9/30/05 01:00 pm - Sickness, RPGs, and Little Angel Girls With Fighter Jets.  Sounds like a plan.

"This planet doesn't like our powers. It's trying to stop us by wracking our bodies with pain! We will join together as a family, and strike back at the Planet!"

I think I've watched Advent Children too many times, because with all the physical pain I've been in lately, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea.  *laughs*  Luckily, I'm pretty hyped up today for some reason.  I feel energized, like there's something out there giving me strength.

All rants aside, Nippon Ichi has done the...well...not really unexpected, just improbable.  Disgaea 2 is now in development.  A direct sequel with a different main character.  The plot sounds interesting, involving what appears to be an outbreak of demon-dom with some crazy new Overlord behind it (I wonder where Baal fits in, hmm...), and the last remaining human raising an army to return his world to normal.  Check the big-name game websites, or even somethin' like Kerina's LJ (she's the one who tipped me off to the game, after all) for more details on it. 

I'm glad they're keeping it as a satirical, humor-based SRPG instead of making it all serious and dumb like Phantom Brave was.  Too bad Laharl's not the big boss anymore (He'll probably be IN the same, seeing as Etna is, and Nippon Ichi hasn't left him out of a game since he debuted), I would've liked to see what Supreme Overlord Laharl could've pulled off while playable without requiring 90 million hours of levelling up.  It IS a Nippon Ichi game, so it'll probably become needlessly tedious once the main plot is done, but hell, Makai Kingdom was mad awesome until Flonne nuked my entire fucking party in one turn.  Then I lost faith.  FLONNE SHOULD NOT HAVE A FLEET OF FIGHTER JETS.  EVER.  It's like the sheer annoying-ness of Flonne permeates the bullets those jets fire, and makes them into miniature railguns.  My poor little demons...all dead...ANYWAYS.  Although my dream that a Nippon Ichi game that requires NO massive levelbusting sprees is an impossibility (NI has said it themselves numerous times in interviews that they're not dropping that, out of respect for their hardcore fans), I'm hoping that Disgaea 2 will be as fun to play through the first time as Disgaea and Makai Kingdom were.  More on this as it develops.

Been playing some more Radiata Stories the past couple days.  I haven't decided whether to stay on the human side or join the non-humans yet, but in general, I think I'd rather have a party of humans (who I've already managed to recruit over 30 of) than a bunch of random, not very cool looking demihumans (Recruit Count: 1) like faeries, goblins, and the like.  Maybe I'll do it on playthrough 2, I dunno.  I'm STARTING to actually be able to kill things in the game, which is good, because for several hours last night, I managed to do nothing but get my ass handed to me by random mission bosses, all of whom took like 12 damage a hit from my sword while they had upwards of 2000 HP.  Not fun.  With a few minor play strategy alterations, though, I've managed to avoid the ridiculously annoying pitfall of "virtually no save points anywhere" that Sakura warned me about.

Well, not much else to talk about, so this is Idea, signing out.  I'll catch y'all on the flip side.

9/29/05 12:37 pm - Hangin' in there, somehow.

What a night.  There's nothing creepier than an entire campus quad losing power at 2 AM during a massive thunderstorm, when your campus lacks any semblance of a backup power grid.  If anyone needed to talk to me last night, now you know why I disappeared randomly.

I'd talk about John Roberts' confirmation as Chief Justice, but honestly...I'm just tired of politics.  I'm tired of hating this government, I'm tired of the corruption, the bullshit, and basically everything that goes with it.  I've learned that we Democrats can't do a single fucking thing to save this country from the psychotic Christian Right, so it's best to just sit back and laugh as our fears are all confirmed.  Here's a big fuck you to the American government, and a big fuck you to anyone else who cares more about lining their own pockets than protecting this country.  Congratulations, you got what you wanted.  Again.  And now you're going to watch it bite you in the ass.

At least I'm starting to get better, this illness has been ruining me.  Can't complain about the recovery process.  ^_^

Well, I'm stuck in the room all day today since work doesn't want me to come in and cough bronchitis onto everything, so I think that once my laundry's done, I'm gonna play some Radiata Stories.  That'll be something to do.

Also!  The #MSFTownSquare channel is live, the little project Musa and I came up with more than a month ago is finally bearing fruit.  Wait for an official announcement from the mods on the forum before using it officially, though.  Feel free to pop in and ask any questions you may have, I'll do my best to accomodate ya.

This is Idea, signing out for now.  Sayonara!
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